It was Diwali morning in 2018. Ideally, by that time, I should have completed the typical Diwali festive decorations of our house, which included flowers and lighting of the house, but I did not…

It was due to the fact that Kusum’s health was deteriorating quickly due to her cancer’s aggressive progression. And when she was not well, then what was the meaning of any decoration? I was really sad, in fear of what was coming…..I was sinking..

But then Kusum aka Vibha came to me and requested that I decorate the house as we do every year. As shared, I was not mentally ready, and I opposed her with the logic and her health and told her I just wanted to be with her; I would not go to the market; we would talk; we would watch movies; and I tried to convenience her with my logic for decoration and stuff….Though it was of no use.  She literally forced me. I wanted to put all my efforts and time into her care, but she had her own thought process, which I was not able to understand at the time.

Anyway, I went out to shop for decoration items with a half heart, and in the next few hours, for my Kusum, I made decorations with Rangoli, electric Lights, Candles, Flowers, and Diyas and put a heart-shaped balloon (which was not a typical balloon but made of plastic or polyethylene-type material) in front of the main gate of our house. It was written ‘Subh Deepawali’ in Hindi on that balloon, which means in English ‘Happy Diwali’….Our house was sparkling like an Indian bride! 

In the evening, we sat together for hours. She was still in pain, but she was absorbing the positive vibes from the festive environment. She kept looking at our beautiful house, and our 9-year-old son was not feeling left out of festive events. My parents came to ensure we were not alone, and we were surrounded by love. The house was at that time the perfect ‘home’, irrespective of unfortunate cancer pushing hard against it.

That day I learned that to change the bad circumstances may not be in our hands,  but it is important to celebrate life, celebrate what we have, and that too together, for us and for our loved ones……… I understood what Kusum was trying to convey while pushing me for decoration and celebration. It was a really beautiful Diwali.

That was Kusum’s last Diwali with us….It has been 5 years since, but that balloon is still there. Today, I was standing and looking at that balloon, and it felt for a moment that balloon and I were both smiling together, thinking about that fine Diwali 🙂

Dear Readers: Wishing you and your loved ones a very ‘Happy Diwali’…Do love, spread hope, and live life in every moment of it 🙂